His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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