if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My feet surprised me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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