i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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