The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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