brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
a search helicopter?!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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