You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
