If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I believe in your delicious
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
