My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
