He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
