I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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