Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
