White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
