You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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