idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
