Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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