so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
