Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
