can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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