lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize