why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
