can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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