After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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