Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
