I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize