i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
