chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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