You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
