He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize