Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
