I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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