You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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