I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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