Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
