hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
