I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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