I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
