Sry I called you an 8
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
