I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
