oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
