nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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