Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
