Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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