Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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