I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Are we still banned from the library?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
