you win again, gameday.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
