Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize