maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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