Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize