what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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