Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
