Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
