'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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