M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She bit a glass in half.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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