you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
