So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
