So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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