so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
false alarm, still single
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
