Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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