Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
