Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
