At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
