i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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