If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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