Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
