You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this will be a night to untag.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
