chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
