He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
