Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
