It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize