I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
