I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
