The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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